Adding a second child sure has its UPS and DOWNS. Here are a few observations/reflections/lessons learned.
(Views and thoughts are subject to change at any moment due to hormonal fluctuations)
NEGATIVES
1.)There is no easy button for parenting - if only!
2.) I would do almost anything for a magic sleeping wand - just a wave and either my newborn or toddler would be fast asleep
3) Two kids seems like plenty to me - I always thought 3 sounded like a good number but I don't know about that now.
4) Yelling is not an effective parenting tool - esp. just screaming "ahh" at the top of your lungs because you don't know what else to do at said moment...(Ava would NOT go to sleep, Elise was crying and I was super tired - not that that is a legitimate excuse).
5.) I don't like being outnumbered by things needing my help. When Chris is gone - I've got the two girls AND two dogs that seem to bark at the worst moments.
6.) Still don't know how to juggle noise and sleep - how to keep toddler quiet-er when baby is sleeping and baby quiet when toddler is going to bed. Need to find a way to make white noise...
7.) 22 months might just be too close together - What are we going to do when Ava outgrows her crib or learns to climb out?
8.) My regular clothes don't fit me yet and my maternity pants are way too uncomfortable - a guess a life of my comfy pants is what's in store - oh well.
9.) Sickness throws everything off. Ava being sick this weekend and not wanting to sleep in her crib was a nightmare!
10.) Elise screams anytime we put her in her car seat and tends to be a little fussier overall than Ava was.
POSITIVES
1.) We have two beautiful little girls
2.) I can't wait for them to play together and become best friends
3.) Elise sleeps well at night - giving us 3-4 hour stretches
4.) The crappy times make you appreciate the good times. I love the time now that I have when one of my girls is asleep and I can really focus on the other child, snuggling and reading with Ava or rocking and singing to Elise.
5.) I've been able to have more time for myself than I thought I would - this time was recently spent making toddler activities and file folder games for Ava
6.) Family support is great. Major props to my sister, Gina for spending several days over the last few weeks helping us prepare for baby and then helping me last week just to get through. We wouldn't have any clean clothes right now if it weren't for her. THANKS, GINA!
7.) I'm so lucky to have recovered so much more quickly than my last pregnancy. I'm actually starting to feel better than I did my last month or so of pregnancy. One day, I'm hoping I'll feel normal...
8.) It's so sweet to see my daughters interacting...or at least seeing how Ava acts with her sister. We haven't really seen jealously but we've definitely seen love. One incident was just yesterday, Elise was crying in the car because she hates her car seat. We were hurrying to get packed in the van and get going because we knew the driving would calm her cries. I look over and see that Ava is holding Elise's hand, gently rubbing it with her fingers. Ava hadn't said and word and no one had asked her to do anything. She just took it upon herself to try to soothe her sister. It made me think of the relationship that they will have with each other. Wow.
9.) Thank gooness my toddler forgives me when I lose my cool. Immediately after yelling I told her I was sorry and she said she was sorry too.
10.) It could be so much worse...in fact, I've got it pretty good. How in the world do single mom's, mothers of multiples or mothers with lots of children or children with special needs do it? I have no idea - but bless their hearts!
6 comments:
I PROMISE...things do get, well, not "easier", but more managable. Happy to hear that Ava is so sweet to Elise. When everything else seems chaotic, its great to see precious moments between siblings.
Thanks. I'm looking forward to the more managable times.
Great to hear the update. So cute to hear about Ava looking out for Elise. Those first few months are insane, so hang in there. If you ever find one of those wands to put your kids to sleep, let me know. Just FYI, I bought a white noise machine called Homedics Sound Spa Sound Machine at bedbathandbeyond.com for $20. It's been so worth it. I loved The Happiest Baby on the Block for the first couple months, so many good ideas. You're doing awesome!
Reading your post would have been what I would have written during my first few months with two. I also thought that 2 years apart was a good time to have a second and as you can see I changed my mind. Actually I think that 2 years apart is a good time after the first two are born because they have each other to play with. Mary and Lucy play together so well right now that I think I could have had another one right now and it would have been easier. Oh well you learn as you go and it is fun to have two little girls. Don't worry it does get easier, hang in there.
How excellent that you are taking time to reflect on and record both the negatives and the positives. It will take about one year for the baby to be old enough to play with her sister. After that, you're home free!
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